eyes wide open

The raindrops are falling hard on the nipa roof and I can almost feel the small hut sway with the storm-like weather outside. The windows are already closed but still the strong wind blew out the candle that served as the sole source of light in the room. I want to pee but I hesitate for I must endure the muddy 10-meter walk first to bridge the gap between our hut and suffocating comfort room. It’s dark outside and no one will accompany me. Everyone in the group is asleep—or at least I think they are. Dare to ask if one of them is awake, I do not; for we are not in good terms. The slightest movement, I’m afraid to make for we are lying down fully-crammed on the cold wooden floor covered only by thin blankets. We are only inches away from one another, separated by mosquito nets in this one-room hut that can hardly contain the ten of us. Due to my inability to contain the urge to urinate and despite my fear of going out alone, I forcedly get up to reach for my flashlight, and open the door…

I flicker my eyes open as well and now I’m out of my imagination. Those were the fears I had before our community exposure for we were told to expect the worse. Rocky roads, scarce water, limited food, no network coverage for phones, a rotten house and countless inter-personal conflicts were among my list of worries. Surprisingly though, my group mates and I underwent the challenges of our first exposure and actually had fun being together in one sturdy day care center that we turned into a home.

True, we will go through the same and even more struggles again and again in the future but we now know that we just have to swallow our fears and pride, gather our courage and open up our hearts and achieve our goal in bringing out the best in one another and of course, in our community.